Sad Holiday Season *rant*

I Feel sad... Maybe the word is Worrying and left out... Y are all my friends sad during the holiday season...ecspecially sad this season? Because they're alone, because this is the season where they're supposed to not be left out but most of them are... it makes me sad too, Sometimes my friends scare the frick out of me too... my friend cut himself, i was gonna freak out.. he scared me, i wanted to run to his house... ehh except i didnt know where he lived.. and my parents doesnt let me leave the house, without them... Maybe i get overworried, i mean it's natural right.. Ugh this holiday season doesn't seem right, i barely cared last year because i was too sad over my dead friend i didn't notice i didn't help my mom with the holiday tradition we didn't even put up a tree, cuz i spend my whole holiday season in my room in the shadows.. i feel like some of my friends are doing that, i hate that... they're missing a lot, i want to help them.. i really do.. i dont know how other than listen to them and try to add in the good sides of things... Im pretty useless... really what is up with me... i feel so left out... from THEM.... Ugh from my own bf's friends and my friends,i really need to rant... i need my friend's help, she the bestest friend anyone can hate, actually both of them, Lynna and Bonnie are both the sweetest friends... i feel so bitter... i really cant stop myself from crying... y? Uhm... *IGNORED BY FRIENDS* i know Yay.... It's so great :D *sarcasm* but k. i should be very thankful i have friends that i can trust... i shouldn't think of the bad things.. I'll think of the happy things... but it still hurts, it does, but everyone feels hrut when they're mistreated or ignored by friends they thought would be the most trustworthy friends.. i mean.. friends are a big part of life... right?..I just want my friends for my christmas present...